Have I been a "bad" mum???

I was sitting next to this church member and her husband during a dinner function when we started talking about our kids. A highly recommended topic and more exciting than talking about the weather when one is trying to avoid gossip...since this is after all a church event. But what struck me was that as parents, these two have never once shouted at their kids (forget about the hitting part). I must have looked totally flabbergasted because how can anyone NOT shout at their kids?????? I finally consoled myself that they must have been blessed with three great kids because mine were little terrors when they were young especially D....although E wasn't any better during her teenage years. But there is still this nagging guilt....did I overdo it? When I think of the shouting and the screaming and the hitting that went on in the house, I shudder!

On one hand I over discipline them, yet on the other hand, I over pamper them and do everything for them to such an extent that they never get the chance to do things for themselves or learn to be independent. In hindsight I can now see where I have gone wrong. I am not saying that kids should not be disciplined when they are naughty. Even the bible teaches us not to spare the rod; but perhaps not to the extent I discipline mine. And I am also not saying that pampering our kids is wrong. I am just saying that as parents we must know where to draw the line. By over protecting our kids, we are hampering their growth as responsible, independent adults. If I am given another chance, I will want to do it all again....only this time differently.